I never wanted to be a housewife. It was never in the plan. My fiance (now husband) and I wanted to be DINKS. Dual-income, no kids. Not forever, just for a few months. We wanted to start a family right away, but life doesn’t always happen as planned.
When I was twelve, I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Ironically, I wasn’t interested in the position in the traditional sense. I think I might have been a mini-feminist. I refused learning to sew. After all, I can pay someone to alter my clothes someday. I didn’t want to clean. Isn’t that a man’s job? (I would laugh). I wanted to be good in the kitchen though: picking up the phone and making reservations.
That’s when life happened. I will shorten the decade and a half dash between then and when I about-faced. But, in the mean time, I grew up to be a wild child, married the wrong man, divorced the wrong man, and left the church. It was only until I met, Kevin, a guy I dated along the way, that I remembered loving the Lord. Kevin’s curiosity over religion reminded me I missed mine. So, in my late twenties, I dropped the self-sabotaging wildness and redirected it to changing my life.
Throughout the bumps along the way, I changed. My heart changed. I could honestly say I was a good person- crazy! And, suddenly, I found myself wanting to be a good wife. The Lord answered my prayers, too, and I met Joseph. Also known as Mr. Bauer.
There we were, not two months before our wedding, and life was good. Good-ish. I hated my job, but my groom said we needed the money. It was true; weddings and marriage does not come cheap. Yet he promised me that if the Lord didn’t want me in that job, that the Lord would take care of it. I was thrilled when I was let go just days later.
We were a little upside down when it came to money in our first few months of marriage. The fights were… well, almost indescribable. In our primary personalities, my husband is an ambitious organizer, while I am a free-spirited and fun four year old. However, our secondary personalities were the fighters, the ones that go for blood. No holds barred and take no prisoners. A “torch the earth and poison the wells” kind of couple. Yes, deliriously happy until we fought- about money and in-laws. (Those stories I will share later!)
When I started working again, we enjoyed the extra money. Who wouldn’t? It helped as we started to pay off our debt, but it wasn’t working. I lack balance, and a job didn’t help. I like to stay late and get everything done, but some jobs are never done. We were both too tired to cook at the end of the day, so we ate out. We ate out and gained weight. We were tired and lacked the energy to exercise or, umm, hang out as much. We decided that it was best for me to stay home.
It was the best decision! We were shocked how better life got when I became a housewife. Dinner’s on the table when my honey comes home. We hang out more and enjoy life together. I get to occasionally join the hubbie for lunch at his office, and I get to handle our household. Something always needs cleaned. Someone always needs called. Appointments always need to be scheduled. I handle it. My husband focuses on his career while I focus on the homestead.
I am the envy of a few friends, of course; although, I don’t watch nearly as much Netflix as I would like or they assume. Some have accused my husband of making absorbent amounts of money, so no wonder we don’t need the extra income. But, they have failed to see the sacrifices we’ve made. We’re a one (paid for) car household. The majority of our meals are at home (even cheaper when you eat vegan!). We hadn’t gotten new cell phones in four years. Our date nights are done with coupons, and our vacations are saved up for. Not to mention, without children, we save on childcare. We have sacrificed nice, new cars and a newer home for the ability to live below our means. And, I don’t go clothes shopping like I did in college… Maybe that’s why the economy’s down??? ha
It’s just a little bit more about me. Because I never I would be here: in Texas, married, in my 30′s with no children (yet), and happily a housewife. I mean, like I said: I never wanted to be a housewife. But I am glad life had better plans than I did! More to come…
Happy Housewife Wednesday, Laura
originally posted: Wednesday, October 30, 2013